The Worst Things For Sale

This computer mouse hides a digital scale inside and has a little compartment to stash a tiny amount of weed. This would be more practical if a desktop computer wasn’t a big square box with a ton of empty space where you could put a full-sized scale and several ounces of weed.

Customers who bought this also bought a plastic bic lighter that you can store an even tinier amount of weed in. Who are all these customers and what are they doing with their tiny pieces of weed?

“Someone To Cuttle” is, in the author’s words, “Gay Cuttlefish Shapeshifter Erotica.”

Unsurprisingly, customers who purchased it also purchased “The Catgirl And The Orc Woman”, and “There’s an Orc In My Ass!”

Here’s a six-pack of salacious bottle openers, sent in by a reader. I’ve pixellated it here, in case you’re not someone’s uncle who uses the word “raunchy” outside of referring to raunchy uncles. The original pic is on the listing.

Do you have a hot tip on a Worst Thing For Sale? Hit me on Twitter at @TWTFSale or email drew@toothpastefordinner.com.

The Wrongulator, a calculator that intentionally gives the wrong answer, is a great gift for anyone who works in the medical field. You gave an old guy the wrong amount of heart pills and he died! Pranked!!!

The bevy of commenters on this innocuous box of Betty Crocker Potato Buds have gathered in the review section to gnash their teeth and wail at the changing of the Betty Crocker Potato Buds formula.

I could just bawl. I loved Potato Buds for thirty years and I will never buy them again, instead I’ll try all the other brands. I got at least four people (who said they would never eat instant mashed potatos) hooked on Potato Buds, because they were so different and so good. Now, they’re not buds any more.

This is just a sampling. You should probably read the rest.

“Tag Away”, which claims to be seen on television (what channel? the Skin Tag Network?) also claims that it removes skin tags. Which it doesn’t, because it’s homeopathic, meaning it doesn’t contain any active ingredients.

Somehow, though, where most homeopathic treatments consist of just water, Tag Away manages to pack some foul-smelling “natural” ingredients into its $16.49 half-ounce bottle, a combination of leaf oils and “other natural ingredients.” Customers report that, as you might expect, it doesn’t work, and it smells like shit.

This Domo-Kun toaster is a great gift for the toast eater who prefers his bread half-untoasted, half-burned-to-shit.