Wine Stakes

wine-drinking-stakes

We’ve already solved the problem of “where do I put my wine outside?” It’s called an outside table. Not a set of stakes you hammer into the ground and balance your wineglass on. Yeah, it technically works, but so does a plastic cup. If you’re into photoshopped pictures, though, you might want to take a peek at the 4 adults all using the same iPad together, on the beach, while the wine stakes crookedly hold their glasses of red wine.



What is a pirate?

Before you appropriate culture by dressing like a pirate this Halloween, let me remind you:

woman-pirate

This is not a pirate.

man-pirate

This is also not a pirate.

actual-pirate

This is a pirate.

taken-by-two-pirates

But neither of these men are pirates.

It Sucks At Sucking

waxvac

The WaxVac is an “ear vacuum cleaner” which purports to remove the wax from your ears. As you might imagine, no, it doesn’t work at all, with dozens of customers complaining that they couldn’t get it to remove a single piece of earwax.

Since the world of earwax removal is full of scams (like ear candles) I feel obligated to tell you that The Elephant Ear Washer is a product that actually does seem to work, if you can get over the fact that it looks like a bottle of Windex.



The Mac’n'cheese Button

kraft-macaroni-button

This button connects to your Wi-Fi network, and when you push it, Amazon mails you Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner. While the Amazon Dash program started last year with a few buttons for household necessities like detergent and paper towels, it’s been expanded, and you can now have America’s favorite fat-and-carbs delivery system at the push of a button.

If you’re thinking you’ve gotta wash your automatic dinner down with water, nope – there’s a button for Gatorade too. It’s got what plants– I mean people– crave.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.