As a parent


As a parent, I’m always looking for ways to send my child rolling down a steep hill, into a lake, onto a busy road, or even over a cliff. That’s why I like the Little Tikes Bumper Wheel.

Beat Your Way To The Top


There’s nothing wrong with masturbation. But this book tells you to jack off while you read it, to specific situations like a teacher being proud of you, or doing well at work. And you can’t just crank it a little and turn the page. You have to finish the job. To every single page of the book. Read the “Click To Look Inside!” to see what I’m talking about.

(By the way, this is not the first product I’ve written about where I’m 99% sure the creator thought of the title first.)

Socks that say “Fuck You”


Socks that say “Fuck You” on the bottom, hidden by your shoes, and also hidden by the fact that you’re walking on them, are the perfect way to rebel without actually doing anything or communicating with anyone else at all.

BUT. If you get those “Fuck You” socks, AND then you get these “Fuck Me” socks, you can swap them out so you have one pair that says “Fuck Fuck.” Inside your shoes. Under your feet. Never mind, that’s still stupid.

TWTFS is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to We are not affiliated with the manufacturers whose products appear on TWTFS.