The Worst Things For Sale

Well, not a nightstand. More of a night table. It doesn’t have drawers like a nightstand. But it does have USB jacks to charge your phone. And it’s just a hair over four hundred dollars.

The Minion’s eye is a webcam.

A few months ago, I pointed out that the Devialet Gold Phantom Wireless speaker was priced insanely high, didn’t sound particularly good, and was held together with glue that came apart for at least one customer who reviewed it. However, now that you can buy a single stand for a single speaker for only $375, it’s probably actually good now.

There’s nothing wrong with communion, if that’s your thing… but the fact that you can buy a thousand of these means someone, somewhere, is sitting at home, eating them out of the container while they watch TV, and washing it down with church wine K-Cups.

Playing cards, which have traditionally been printed in contrasting colors to allow them to be used in games, are now available in monochrome, to make them impossible to use in card games. It’s the innovation we’ve all been waiting for.

At least they aren’t made out of plywood.

The Aico Smart Egg is an infrared remote control, similar to what comes with a television, but it’s shaped like an egg, and has no buttons. This is, somehow, supposed to be better than a remote control with labeled buttons you can push. It costs probably what you’d expect.

In an apparent attempt to create the worst product name of all time, the manufacturers of GuardPeanut named it GuardPeanut. The same company also makes a product called ThermoPeanut.