The Worst Things For Sale

The Right Cup claims that impregnating its plastic lip with fragrance will cause you to drink more water, because the scent will trick your brain into thinking you’re not drinking water. Unfortunately, the reviews reveal the fact that this doesn’t actually work in practice.

You might click, and see the bevy of five-star reviews saying “It definitely works,” but this is a read-between-the-lines scenario. Note that all the five-star reviews are glowing, long, and all touch on the manufacturer’s line items. They all specifically say the product has made them quit drinking sugar, that it tastes good, that it makes them drink more water, and that it’s good for children as well as adults. And the majority of the five-star reviews end with a punch like “[Buy] a two pack today and use them for yourself and gift the other one.”

Now, take a trip through the one-star reviews. They’re brief, not full of superlatives, point out the cup is the size of a child’s sippy cup, complain that the cup stinks up their cupboard, doesn’t make water taste like juice, and so on. One of them even points out that using this cup is enough to disprove the idea that a scented cup tricks your brain into thinking it’s not drinking water.

The most tell-tale of the one-stars, though, is a lengthy, crushing review where the customer rats out the seller for offering them a refund if they retract their review, and pastes in the actual email from the seller asking them to do this.

The gallery of pictures for this app is worth checking out, even if you don’t need “VERY LOUD SOUND !!!!!” on your phone.

No, it’s not a mnemonic to remember the order of the planets or something. It’s a programmatically-created t-shirt, which included “PSYCHOTIC” in its list of adjectives for some reason.

Poop Knife is what it sounds like: a knife you keep in your bathroom to chop up turds before flushing them.

No doubt purchased by the same sort of people who purchased the USB cable that records audio from your room, this little box is a USB charger that includes a 1080p video camera and recorder. Then again, if Google, Apple and Amazon have a live audio and video feed of your house at all times, you might as well have one too.

For a bit shy of two hundred bucks, you can have your dog genetically analyzed, and find, for example (as they show on the box) that your dog is 50.0% Staffordshire Terrier, 23.7% Golden Retriever, 14.5% Australian Cattle Dog, and 11.8% Great Pyrenees. What you would gain from learning the exact racial breakdown of your dog is hard to know, but as a reviewer said, “when people at the dog park ask what kind of dog she is I just whip out my phone and show them her family tree.” We all do things for different reasons, I guess.

Combine the traditional pastimes of celebrating instruments of war and drinking a cold beverage, and you’ve got yourself an ice mold that makes ice grenades. If you need 24 smaller grenades at a time, there’s also these ice-grenade trays.