The Worst Things For Sale

Food Cubby is a pair of silicone bumpers you stick to your plate and use to separate your food from each other. You know, if you’re eating buttered peas, unsauced pasta, and fruit cocktail together as a meal. “I can’t wait to give these to my picky adult son,” says one customer.

As another reviewer notes, though, it doesn’t work on plates that aren’t completely flat, and the whole thing sidesteps the fact that not being able to eat your food if it touches other food is a problem which isn’t best solved by purchasing a piece of rubber.

There is nothing I could write that would cast this book in a worse light than simply copying and pasting the authors’ own description of their work, which follows:

The hilarious duo behind successful spoof cookbooks such as Baking Bad, Game of Scones, and The Walking Bread is back with Stranger Fillings, a parody cookbook based on THE hit show of 2016, Netflix’s Stranger Things. Featuring recipes such as Demogorgon-zola Tartlets, Friends Don’t Li(m)e Pie, Baked Brenners, and Barb’s Mystery Dip, there will be no shortage of great puns and delicious, edible baked treats. 

I can’t think of anything smarter than carrying around a small gun that lacks the orange “this is not a real gun” markings of toy guns. It probably won’t cause you any problems if a cop or a “citizen good guy with a gun” sees you with it.

This purports to be the world’s only car-top Christmas tree, and I don’t doubt that. Make sure you look at the top view in their gallery to see the degree of car-bondage you have to perform to keep it attached and upright.

The PetChatz PawCall is a “smart button” that alerts you when your pet wants to talk to you. The button also dispenses a treat. By letting your pet use this, you are using food as a reward to train them to repeatedly alert your phone while you’re at work or in another room of the house.

It works exclusively with PetChatz HD, a two-way video and audio system mounted at animal-height on your wall to allow your pet to video-chat with you while you’re at work. PetChatz doesn’t just dispense treats and prison-phone your animal, it releases PetChatz essential oil to “calm your pet.”

In the north, in the winter, you can throw down some planks of wood, some plastic sheeting, and fill it up with water to make a skating rink. EZ ICE seeks to disrupt that market by selling an over-two-thousand-dollar kit to do the same thing.

Socks for the milk-drinking lady in your life.

Or for the lady who consumes wine, pina coladas, cookies, margaritas, chocolate, tequila, sangria, beer, or tea. (Yes, unfortunately, those are all links.)