The Worst Things For Sale

“Normal” bubble solution, that you get in a store, is made of water, soap, and glycerine (or a little bit of polymer.) So is BubbleLick. It’s not that BubbleLick is a special kind of bubble-blowing liquid, it’s that bubble-blowing liquid is always edible, if you’re willing to eat soap. BubbleLick lets you add some Kool-Aid or vodka to your soap-eating experience.

These are the worst combination of fake-butter with fake-maple and unidentifiable off-tastes. But at least it’s not Sport Beans, a bag of jellybeans rebranded as a sports supplement.

FYI, if you bought the MASCOTKING Solar Eclipse glasses from Amazon, they’ve been pulled from the site, because they won’t protect your eyes if you use them to stare at the sun. (There are still a bunch of different ones for sale which have apparently passed quality-control tests.)

The same manufacturer sells “fidget polygons” and pineapple corers, which I’d never thought of as unsafe, though now I’m wondering.

You might think the design on this mug was just an error in the template, given that you can also Dont’s Need Therapy because of Cambodia, but this seller’s other products (like “A zombie going to eat”) show a dedication to the craft. My personal favorite is the Programmer mug, which inserts a type mismatch error.

I’m not sure the way to convince the world that “school sucks” is with a book that begins: “I wanted to write this book because too many people think, that if they do bad at school, they are a failure.” There’s more in the Look Inside, if you’re not already burned out on incoherence, which you might be, given that the president just banned burritos using zero complete sentences. (I wrote this entry a week in advance, so I’m just guessing what will have happened by the time this appears on the site.)

Claiming it to be a form of “passive exercise,” the makers of this whole-body vibration platform included a Bluetooth connection so you can listen to music while you vibrate your body. Of course, as you might suspect, it’s dubious that this actually causes hypertrophy in your muscles, and it’s been proven that high-intensity vibration can damage your organs. So you might want to stick to actual exercise, or not exercising. Or sitting on your washing machine. Whatever works for you.

A nation faces a crisis, and it responds with an inflatable sex doll: the story of the United States.