The Worst Things For Sale

1. Phone

2. Phone

3. Pull bathroom trash can over in front of you and set your laptop on it

4. Phone

You might be out in your yard on a beautiful spring day, drinking some beer or soda, and think, “I wish my beer or soda could be sexier. I wish I could suck it out of a plastic boobie.” Wish no longer, my friend.

If you love chemistry so much, why not actually show triglyceride and acetic acid molecules on the bottles instead of fake elements? At least it’s not this salt-and-pepper set, which could have gone with NaCl, the actual formula for table salt, instead of “Sa (Salt).”

Even if you were to imagine that the concept of “swag” is still contemporary, it would absolutely not be contained in Swagroller, a light-up electric unicycle. Check out the gallery of pics of people using this thing.

Isn’t it really funny how poor people are out of shape, and they wear crummy clothes, and they shop at the cheap store? Let’s take pictures of them without their consent, and post them online, and then Venn-Diagram the people who laugh at them with the people who color in adult coloring books. See, capitalism works!

This sign welcomes you to Feces Drive, where you can drink your feces drink.

If you’re afraid of feces, well, there’s a sign for that, too.

DubStein claims to be “the world’s first Bluetooth stereo speaker with beverage integration.” If you’ve ever wanted to drink beer out of a bluetooth speaker, your dreams have finally come true, I guess.