The Worst Things For Sale

The Crispy Bacon Grill is an appliance that only cooks bacon. Even assuming you had the counter space for it, and the need to eat bacon often enough to consider buying one in the first place, the price might be a bit of a problem.

At least it’s not bacon soda, the disgusting fizzy drink that customers hate.

The slogan for Sled Legs is “Make Winter Fun Again,” which might be a bit over-reaching, considering they amount to sliding down a hill on shin-guards.

If that somehow seems fun to you, and there’s no snow where you are, then there is, of course, SnoWonder Instant Snow.

The Butter Saver is a single $13 piece of rubber you put on the end of a butter stick to “save” it. There’s no telling what you’d be saving it from, because butter keeps more or less indefinitely inside your refrigerator.

There’s also the fact that unless you unwrap the whole stick of butter at once, it’s still mostly covered in wax paper, and the loose end of the wax paper can be wrapped around the cut end of the butter once you cut a slice off. And the small detail that many customers report that the Butter Saver doesn’t stay on the stick of butter, or doesn’t fit on it to begin with.

This inflatable horse is the adult version of the children’s toy that does the very same thing. If you want to dress like a cowboy and hop around on an inflatable horse, I guess it’s the thing you want. But you should really see the photoshopped picture of a cowboy and cowgirl hopping around a western landscape that’s in the manufacturer’s gallery. And if that isn’t enough, you need to see the guy in a suit hopping around on a giant inflatable emoji.

If you find yourself being called racist a lot at work, I’m not sure this mug is the solution. A street sign that says Racist Dr. probably doesn’t help make the case with your coworkers, either. And the racist beach towel you wear instead of business-casual attire is probably a bit much.

Go ahead, guess what this is made out of. And then guess what it’s for. And then hit the listing to find out.

Hint: It’s “not safe for work.”

When the entirety of your knowledge of hip-hop culture is that it’s “gangsta” and that Snoop Dogg, at one point, said “izzle” on words, then you might write “Tha Holy Bibizzle”, an unsurprisingly racist retelling of the first few books of the Bible. Its authors have chosen to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.