The Worst Things For Sale

This is an “upright chair”, which gives the observer the effect that you’re propping yourself up on a stick you’ve shoved up your ass. It’s also only a chair in the loosest definition of the word “chair.”

What is more depressing than cooking a single egg in a tiny, four-inch frying pan? I’d say it’s a tie between Microwave For One, a cookbook printed in 1987, and A Man, A Can, A Microwave, which somehow was coauthored by the editors of Men’s Health. If you’re feeling depressy (or want to bring down your good mood) you can hit the “Look Inside” link on the last one to read a microwaved steak recipe.

Kohalon is a performance artist in the manner of YouTube, performing extremely low-grade stunts in a unitard for nothing more than attention. You can watch “Guess the cheese with death sauce”, as it seems as good as any other entry point to his body of work, or you can browse all the Kohalon videos in case “Prank Ate the pie which tarantula in it” or “Pooped on reflexology mat” is more of what you’re looking for.

Craniopagus is the condition when twins are born and conjoined at the head. Why you’d want a mannequin to suffer from this, I’m not entirely sure. It’s worth reading the manufacturer’s description for their confusing justification of why they’d do something this grotesque, at least.

Then again, at least they’re not trying to sell a two-headed anorexic doll to children.

I’ve never seen someone sit in a chair as uncomfortably as this woman. Bookniture is what she’s sitting on. It’s a book that folds out into, apparently, the world’s least comfortable stool. It costs way, way more than you’d think some folded-up cardboard would cost.

The Qwerkywriter is a keyboard for your iPad that turns your iPad into a typewriter. The only good thing I can say about the Qwerkywriter is that it’s at least not made out of an entire real typewriter, like this monstrosity.

These meat-flavored candy canes sound gross, sure, but what do customers say?

(Spoiler alert: Customers hate them. Read the reviews.)