The Worst Things For Sale

SO MAD!!! I get bumpersticker. Drug test make me SO MAD.

I don’t think anyone is buying “Underground Exterminator”, a coupler to let you hook your car’s exhaust to a garden hose, to kill rodents.

“Now That’s What I Call Music” is up to its 47th numbered edition. It’s been a constant source of revulsion for music fans since the first edition was released in 1998 with Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, Aqua, and Marcy Playground tracks. But I didn’t really have anything specifically horrible from this series to show you until I found “Now That’s What I Call Shrek.”

The rapper Josip On Deck has dedicated his musical career to writing Lil B-style songs about anime… and watching anime… and fucking the girls in anime. “Anime Pu$$Y” would be the song to listen to if you just want a taste of his oeuvre.

“No One Will Take Your Cup” is both the title of this item and the problem with the entire concept. No one, in fact, will take your cup. You don’t need a security feature for a coffee cup. If someone takes your cup, and they’re drinking out of it, you can tell them to give your cup back. You don’t need to spend about ten times the normal price of a coffee mug to get a leaky mug to solve this imaginary problem.

Magna-Tiles are clear plastic tiles that snap together with magnets are fun for kids to play with. Too bad a hundred of them (which won’t build much) are $120.

The manufacturer says they teach spatial relationships and problem-solving through creative building. But in the land of creative building for kids, you’ve got to compete with sticks, which are available outside everywhere for free.

I’ve tried chile beer before, which is never exactly “good”, but interesting. You get the base flavor of beer, plus a little bit of heat from the pepper extract. But Ramune Chili Oil Soda is wretched, marrying the bitter flavor of peppers and the sickly-sweet corn syrup with red food dye and zero chili heat to distract you from the nastiness. It’s six ounces, but I couldn’t get past the neck of the bottle before chucking it.

For those brave enough to finish the Chili Oil Soda, the next level is Ramune Takoyaki Soda – which claims to emulate the flavor of fried dough balls. I wanted to tell you what this tasted like, but I couldn’t get past sniffing the open bottle. Maybe you’re braver than I am, or your taste buds don’t work, or you need to win five bucks by drinking something bad, in which case this would be right up your alley.