The Worst Things For Sale

The Wii is the perfect platform for “Vet Life,” because the motion-sensing Wiimote makes it extremely realistic to inject poison into an elderly cat while a whole family pets it and cries.

Creativity is part of the human experience. Expressing your feelings or your thoughts, even tied to a collection of pre-made internet memes, is essential for many people. Aesthetically, the form may be overused and seem to saturate certain corners of the internet, overtaking more interesting and varied forms of expression, but it’s still important to the people who are using them to communicate.

That doesn’t mean it’s not shitty to take someone else’s work and sell it for a profit. If it’s any consolation, nobody seems to be buying this book, which you might expect, given that a quarter of the images on the internet on any given day are “rage face comics.”

These black gloves come in one size, which the manufacturer describes as “One Size Fits Most.” And for some reason, they seem to believe that the majority of women have freaky doll arms.

Somewhere in the world, a man, deep into his thirteenth straight hour of rotating the faces of a 12-sided Rubiks-Cube-type puzzle called a “Petaminx,” laughs that someone would enjoy blogging. “What a waste,” he thinks, “what a way to turn your unexplained gift of metabolism and consciousness into soul-crushing labor.”

The Insta-Hang Picture-Hanging Tool Kit is a plastic thing that you fill with push-pins, which dispenses the push-pins out into the wall. And if you can hold the Insta-Hang, I’d guess you can hold a push pin and push it into your wall.

The manufacturer claims it will work on “any wall”, but they’re push-pins, which won’t go into plaster, or wood, or anything except drywall.

Also, the customer reviews are hilarious, and contain such gems as “I did not even get to use it, the spring cap broke as I was trying to close it after loading the pins.”

Two weeks ago I blogged about the American Standard 2889.216.020 toilet, which claims to be able to flush all manner of objects down itself, and today I present to you GIF-format evidence of its prowess. I also suggest that you check out the review that says that this toilet “makes waste elimination joyful.” That and getting enough fiber, I suppose.

The only good thing I can say about “My New Pink Button,” which is a dye that you apply to your labia to make them more pink, is that it’s not tested on animals. Because then it would be someone’s job to dye a monkey’s treasure-box and check it for a rash.