12 May, 2012
90s music
Have you ever listened to 90s music with a pharaoh? Put the CDs in a sarcophagus.
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12 May, 2012
Have you ever listened to 90s music with a pharaoh? Put the CDs in a sarcophagus.
11 May, 2012
Why bring your lunch to work every day when you could just order an EMERGENCY LUNCH/DINNER, 90 DAYS bucket and have it delivered straight to work?
The existence of this product isn’t perplexing, but if you flip through the images they give you of the meals, I’m not sure how it applies to disaster-based eating. I’m pretty sure that if I’m crouched in my basement with a crowbar and my bucket of EMERGENCY LUNCH/DINNER 90 DAYS I won’t be able to garnish my survival rice with a sprig of mint and serve it in enamel bakeware on top of freshly folded linens. But maybe survival means different things to different people.
11 May, 2012
In what universe is a $1,300 stuffed six-foot-tall grizzly bear “an affordable gift for your little one”? Because in my universe, an affordable gift for my little one is the dollar section at Target that’s right next to the carts.
10 May, 2012
Tired of your golf buddies laughing at your slice or your putting? Divert their attention with a $7,999 Segway that holds your golf clubs. They’ll be so busy laughing at your helmeted scootering from hole-to-hole that they’ll forget about your score.
In case you’re still uncertain about dropping 80 benjamins on Idiot Scooter: Golf Edition, the copy points out that a Segway travels over uneven trails and errant rocks. You know… like legs.
9 May, 2012
Labeling the globs of sugar and wax that you market to children as “organic” doesn’t make them not globs of sugar and wax. The first four ingredients, which make up the greater part of the product, are, as a matter of fact, sugar. (Sugar syrup from cassava, aka tapioca; cane sugar; tapioca solids; grape juice concentrate.)
“No icky additives” is patronizing, especially considering that one of the ingredients listed is the ominously vague “Natural Flavors.” You can hide anything under the term “Natural Flavors.” Check this out. This is the actual FDA literature that defines a “natural flavor”:
The term natural flavor or natural flavoring means the essential oil, oleoresin, essence or extractive, protein hydrolysate, distillate, or any product of roasting, heating or enzymolysis, which contains the flavoring constituents derived from a spice, fruit or fruit juice, vegetable or vegetable juice, edible yeast, herb, bark, bud, root, leaf or similar plant material, meat, seafood, poultry, eggs, dairy products, or fermentation products thereof
I would call most of those additives “icky”, if that were a word I used, which I don’t. But then again, I don’t work for a food company that sells sugar bombs with a feel-good earth attitude.
Can you blame them for taking this angle? These four-dollar “organic” packets of sugar are one of the best-selling snack food items on Amazon. (By comparison, 115 grams of table sugar costs $0.44.)
9 May, 2012
What could go wrong with strapping a laptop to the steering wheel of your car? After all, it’s not like anyone would try to drive while they were doing something distracting. People who have drivers’ licenses take the safety of the road pretty seriously, so I don’t see any problems with this.
