High School Smell Masturbation Lube

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“For masturbation,” says the manufacturer, and given the box art and name “Sexual Lubricant With High School Girl’s Smell,” you wouldn’t think differently. If we’re picking Japanese masturbation aids by name alone, though, I’d go for Ride Horny Addicted Breeze.

(The image has been blurred in case you’re at work. I’m sure you get the idea and don’t need to see the unblurred art, but the same goes for the not-safe-for-work “Saliva Lotion Of High School Girls.”)

The Wrong Way To Sell Leggings

plus-size-leggings

If you’re trying to sell leggings to plus-sized women, you might want to have a regular woman just wear it like a human, instead of stuffing a skinny person into one half of them and holding them out like Jared Fogle. (The average adult woman in the USA wears a size 14, which is very nearly “plus-sized” to begin with, just as a point of reference.)

It’s not just this item, either – they sell this skirt-legging in the same “haha fat” way. All of their items have collected a number of negative reviews, but they still seem to think it’s funny to sell large clothing like this.

Fuck A Football

fantasy-football-stroker

The upside of Fantasy Football Stroker isn’t that you can fuck the football. It’s that when you wear this shirt, nobody’ll know that you’re referring to fucking a plastic football.

(I blurred the entrance and exit of the football pic here due to the bizarre regulations on nudity that exist in our culture. Blame society, not me.)






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.