The Worst Things For Sale

While you could possibly, as someone suggested in the reviews, use this USB camera mounted to a 16-foot gooseneck cable to examine the end of your own digestive system, I don’t recommend it. You might puncture your bowels, or, if you get to the end of the cable, your small intestines. There’s a 45-foot model that might allow you to make the journey and come out the other side, which, again, is not recommended. Of course, you’d probably want to go down the hatch in this theoretical journey through the body, rather than drag the browser history of your digestive-tract up through your mouth.

It’s not that wolf urine‘s not useful. It’s used to scare off predators. I’m just thinking about the man or woman who has to go around to the wolves and collect their piss. And, for that matter, the reviewer who claims that he can improve the taste by storing it in a certain way.

I’m not sure The Face Blanket is the best way to keep your head warm. I’m not sure it’s a good way to appeal to the target audience of hunters and campers, either.

Dividing a regular pan in two so you can “cook two things at once” isn’t terrible. It’s not my thing, and you can’t toss the pan to redistribute the food, but, fine. Dividing it in three sections would make it even harder to cook your three small piles of different food. But the “Master Pan”, with five sections, takes the cake. Or, I should say, given their picture of how they think you can use it, it takes the pancake, fried egg, bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, and potatoes.

The Recon Jet is an insanely expensive pair of sunglasses that has a built-in LED display. It shows you what direction you’re traveling in, what time it is, displays any messages you get on your phone… you know, like your phone. Except on your head, because you think that going jogging turns you into the fucking Terminator.

The HoodiePillow is what it sounds like: a pillow with a sweatshirt hood built in. It’s perfect for the person who doesn’t move while they sleep, or can relax when they are attached to their pillow. There’s also a travel version, which, if you think about it for a second before clicking, looks exactly as you’d imagine it to be in your mind.

My first thought when I saw the five-hundred-dollar 12mph device called RocketSkates was “that’s a short road to getting badly injured.” Then I read the review about the kid who ruined half of his body within a day of buying a pair.