Bitcoin: Not What We Thought


As time lurches slowly on into the future, it’s become apparent that Bitcoin is not, as its proponents claim, a store of value, or a medium of exchange for goods and services. It’s actually a way to extract money from the pockets of weirdos through selling them specialized hardware. Despite the fact that Bitcoin’s computational difficulty and relatively low value has made “mining” a negative-value operation due to the cost of electricity, the sham continues with The 21 Bitcoin Computer. It’s a $399 chunk of shit, approximately the size of a computer mouse, with no case to enclose its bare circuit board.

Yet, as bad as this is, it’s a toss-up as to whether it’s worse than the $74 diecast car replica of the Bitcoin derivative branded “Dogecoin” car. To explain exactly what this is would take more room than I have here, so you might be best served by drawing your own conclusions.

The $49 Tablet No One Wants


You know you fucked up in the tablet game when you’ve gotta price them at $49.99. But Amazon has taken a further bizarre step, offering SIX-PACKS of the 7″ Fire tablet for $249. Hey, at least you can enjoy the best-selling game Game Of War – Fire Age, which you may have been predatorily redirected to when viewing this very page on mobile. (Sorry about that, by the way. We’re working on it.)

Home Insemination Kit



It’s not that this wouldn’t work, necessarily. All the miracle of life usually needs is a little of the right fluid in the right place and time. But if you’re going the syringe-and-speculum route, you might want a more sterile environment than someone’s couch.

Of course, artificial insemination is a technique used on farm or show animals, so it’s nice that similar kits brand themselves as Human Artificial Insemination Kits. The worst way to accomplish this medically-necessary task, though, was suggested by someone in the comments: a six-pack of Tenga Eggs and a way to move your material from point A to point B.

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Contact drew at or tweet him @TWTFSale.