Football football football

I live in the middle of Columbus, Ohio, and probably half the people in this town of two million are fans of our college football team. So I don’t think it’s abnormal to be into football. But I do think that if you buy a $3,100 bench signed by some Miami Dolphins,  you’re just going to end up putting it in a spare room and setting stuff on it.

If you’re in the habit of buying sports memorabilia, you’re probably even going to put some signed helmets or balls on this signed bench. You’ll line up your football action figures on top of the landscape of sports equipment and whisper “Let’s go Football, let’s go” and make the action figures do high-fives with each other.

“I can’t get up this football mountain,” Brett Favre shouts up to Ochocinco. “The football is too big and it’s signed by a lot of great players.”

Ochocinco leans over, extending a hand. “I’ll help you up, Brett. We’re Football friends, and that’s the best kind of friends.”