Magic Bullet


The premise of the Magic Bullet blender is that you can use it for dozens of things. This piece of shit used to be all over TV last decade. A smiling mom would put some avocados in it and make some guacamole, or smoothies, or dip, or broccoli dip, or bean dip.

I owned one of these briefly and the motor burned out when I put in half an avocado, some cilantro and lime juice. Keep in mind ripe avocado is already mushy, and you can usually make guacamole with a fucking fork. I don’t know why the Magic Bullet couldn’t blend ripe avocado, but the blade spun around a while, and the avocado kind of jammed in the end of the thing, and it broke. So I threw it out.

Beside that, you don’t need to reduce everything you eat to a mush, unless you’re a baby. It would be great for baby food. Except if you actually HAVE a baby, you don’t really have time in the day to maintain the world’s worst blender and keep the dozens of blades, collars, and containers washed.

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