Magic Bullet

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The premise of the Magic Bullet blender is that you can use it for dozens of things. This piece of shit used to be all over TV last decade. A smiling mom would put some avocados in it and make some guacamole, or smoothies, or dip, or broccoli dip, or bean dip.

I owned one of these briefly and the motor burned out when I put in half an avocado, some cilantro and lime juice. Keep in mind ripe avocado is already mushy, and you can usually make guacamole with a fucking fork. I don’t know why the Magic Bullet couldn’t blend ripe avocado, but the blade spun around a while, and the avocado kind of jammed in the end of the thing, and it broke. So I threw it out.

Beside that, you don’t need to reduce everything you eat to a mush, unless you’re a baby. It would be great for baby food. Except if you actually HAVE a baby, you don’t really have time in the day to maintain the world’s worst blender and keep the dozens of blades, collars, and containers washed.








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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.