A $399 Pencil Sharpener

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Are you fucking kidding me that a pencil sharpener costs $399.00? What year is this? You can get a magic pocket rectangle that stays on the internet 24 hours a day for that much. Or less than that much, I don’t know, I don’t keep up on how much phones cost, I just buy a new one when my old one breaks.

Next thing you’ll be telling me is that you can get a fountain pen for a thousand dollars and sit there and fill the stupid fucking thing up with ink and deal with it leaking all over the place. Oh, that’s a link? So that’s a real product? Cool, eject my fleshy human body into space so I don’t have to live on this planet any more.








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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.