Wall-mount fireplace


Society has finally progressed to the point where we can light, cook, and heat our homes without the threat of fire engulfing everything we own. But there are some people, apparently, who miss that danger, and for them, the wall-mount fireplace is available.

Yes, you stick this fireplace directly onto the surface of your wall, and then you light a can of gel on fire, and it burns, right next to your wall, at shoulder height, or whatever height you feel is appropriate for an unattended open flame to burn inside your house.

If you know a married couple who’s been trying for years to have a bad kid who likes to play with matches, this might be a great gift to bring some long-lost excitement into their lives.

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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.