The Egg Crackers Of Earth

This device, just like the edge of a pan, or a countertop, is an egg cracker. You whack the egg onto it and the shell of the egg cracks. Never mind that man has done this since the discovery of chickens, the year is 2012 and we can’t crack eggs without a special thing in the kitchen.

That’s dumb enough, but take a close look at that picture. The little grey thing in the middle is a RAZOR BLADE. If you need a special stand and a razor blade to crack an egg, you’re not buying eggs. Those are rocks and you’re an idiot.

I should mention this isn’t the only plastic gadget that cracks eggs. There’s also the EZ Cracker, BW Egg Cracker, and the Clever Cracker. Take a peek if you’re having a bad day and want to feel like you’re above average for being able to crack an egg with your human hand.