14-karat Slinky

tumblr_mesg4el6mr1rt7j2bo1_500

The 14-karat gold-plated Slinky is a great way to spend $108 of your hard-earned money in a way that will make you mad. Either you won’t be able to play with it, or the son of a bitch is going to get a kink in it immediately, and you’ll have to sit there and stare at your janked-ass gold Slinky for the rest of your life. You can throw away a five-dollar Slinky and forget about it instantly, but you’ll refuse to chuck this expensive, fucked-up spring.

They’ll throw it on top of your coffin before they start shoveling in the dirt, and your headstone will read CARRIED A BENT-UP SLINKY AROUND FOR LIKE 50 YEARS BECAUSE IT WAS GOLD.






TWTFS is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. We are not affiliated with the manufacturers whose products appear on TWTFS.


Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.