Money Soap

A cheap bar of soap costs two bucks, and Money Soap, which has a dollar bill inside each bar, sells for $11. It’s meant to tempt children to bathe, but I think it might be a crazy idea to spend $11 to bribe your kids with a dollar for bathing. Maybe I’m the dumb one, though, and I need to invent Money Shoes. Or Money Burgers. Finish your dinner and there’s real money in that burger. You swam out of my balls and now I have to pay you to stay alive. This society is definitely functional and it makes a lot of sense, kids.