Leaving aside any opinions on the religion involved, this book from 1969 seems well-meaning. But the comment section (which it has, despite being a 45-year-old book) is a look into the average internet commenter’s mind. It’s got 29 customer “reviews” which are mostly jokes about the disabled. Read them at your peril.

Let “Street Sword” be your introduction to the world of Phil Elmore, a man with the singular obsession of “self-defense.” The “Look Inside” preview of the text should give you a taste of the Street Sword, after which you can move on to Flashlight Fighting, a guide to the world of whupping someone’s ass with a flashlight.

Whoops, I meant “defending yourself.”

Cocaine is a horrible name for an energy drink. Zan-X, a “dietary supplement for relaxation,” is close behind. But at least they’re not “Zaney Bar”.

Grant MacDonald is a cowboy, and he wants to fuck. He has recorded hundreds of “songs” in his weird speak-singing style. I recommend you listen to  “Drink That Cum”, from the album “Cowboy Breedin”, and “Schoolshower Suckboy”, from the album “Jockstrap Cowboy.”

For an insane price (not including shipping), you can own the official Frozen snow globe, from the movie. It even plays the goddamn Frozen song, in case spending a significant amount of your real money on a snowglobe didn’t make your life bad enough.

This glass “pocket flask” would be great to put in your pocket and fill with liquor, if it wouldn’t result in your secret liquor running through the wounds in your leg caused when the glass breaks.

Alt-medicine nutballs love “trace minerals”, because they claim that we’re missing them due to the way our water and food are treated. It’s a “return to nature” argument, which falls short here, because Trace Mineral Drops contain a concentration of arsenic 200 times higher than the highest exposure recommendation given by the World Health Organization. 

Since the FDA does not regulate supplements in the same manner that it regulates foods or drugs, products like this often go to market with harmful levels of toxic metals and other byproducts. The FDA does not act to inspect supplements until they are implicated in causing harm, which means that if you chug some moron-juice because a yoga person told you it was good for your energy, you might end up arsenic-addled before the FDA even knows it’s being sold.