“Crafts For Retarded,” published in 1964, isn’t a title that works well today. But I didn’t post it here for the title. If you scroll down to the pictures attached to the review, you can see that one of the crafts is a drum covered in swastikas.

This insanely-expensive lightsaber makes Star War sounds and changes colors when you push the buttons. The lone reviewer notes that he loves its ability to “switch between colors on the fly,” which means, I’m guessing, that he walks around with a glowing Star Wars toy in his daily life.

What’s worse than a mug that uses the C-shaped handle to spell out the C-word? A mug that tried to steal the idea but didn’t understand how it worked.

This can’t be called a Rubiks Cube, primarily because a Rubiks Cube is fun. There’s also the matter of trademarks, but let’s be honest: this isn’t fun. Memorizing and then repeatedly applying algorithms on a $300+ piece of plastic can be described many ways, but “fun” is not one of them.

On the other hand, if fun’s what you’re looking for, go for the 11x11x11 Speed Cube. That’s some good ol’ fun like Grandpa used to have. Smoking a pipe on the porch, whittling an 11x11x11 cube out of some fine plastic, covering the cube with “some type of goo”… none of this newfangled junk.

I did all the vocals on the new HELL ORBS album “Skeleton Zone.” You can listen to it & download it here.

The actual title of this item is They’ll Think It Is Just A Cane Until It Is Too Late. Which would also be a great name for a post-rock band… not that you should form one.

You might go faster on the ATV, but if you’re looking for safety, a mousepad is probably going to be a lot less dangerous to ride.