Monthly Archives: April 2015

Car Windshield Projector


The iHUD is a small plastic box that projects an image of your smartphone’s screen onto your windshield, so you can watch movies or read email while you’re driving. It supposedly makes this “safer”, though I’d guess that having Facebook posts superimposed on your field of vision as you drive a vehicle would be less safe than glancing down at your phone. It’s also bizarrely expensive for what amounts to an LED screen inside a plastic box.

It’s been beaten into all of us at this point that using your phone while driving is dangerous, but for the majority of people, instant gratification trumps nearly everything else in life. The boredom of piloting a metal box down a highway at seventy miles per hour is too much to bear. The risk of causing an accident further heightens the rush of dopamine from seeing new content online. If you’re a conspiracy theorist, you might be inclined to believe that all of this is by design.

Black toilet paper


Only the most brutal of bathrooms can handle the gothic bleakness of black toilet paper. “I am the night,” you’ll whisper, slowly threading the expensive butt-roll through your glutes.

Later, you’ll spill your goblet of blood and reach for the same company’s black paper towels, eyes rolling back into your head as you summon Bountytoth, the Dark Lord of Cleaning.

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