Home Insemination Kit

It’s not that this wouldn’t work, necessarily. All the miracle of life usually needs is a little of the right fluid in the right place and time. But if you’re going the syringe-and-speculum route, you might want a more sterile environment than someone’s couch.

Of course, artificial insemination is a technique used on farm or show animals, so it’s nice that similar kits brand themselves as Human Artificial Insemination Kits. The worst way to accomplish this medically-necessary task, though, was suggested by someone in the comments: a six-pack of Tenga Eggs and a way to move your material from point A to point B.