Foot Pads Don’t Do Anything

Let’s go point-by-point through the seller’s claims for these adhesive foot pads. They claim to be a “natural way of removal” for these materials:

• Heavy metals: These can not be removed through the skin.
• Metabolic wastes: The main metabolic waste your body produces is urea, as a result of protein consumption, and this is excreted through your urine. The trace amounts of phosphates, sulfates, and minerals you consume which are not used by your body are excreted in your feces.
• Toxins: Your liver metabolizes almost everything that could be considered a “toxin.” There are not free-floating “toxins” in your body if you are alive.
• Microscopic parasites: The average human body has roughly ten times the number of bacterial cells as human cells. You carry anywhere from three to five POUNDS of bacteria in and on your body. Foot pads will not remove them, which is good, because the human microbiome is essential to digestion and the immune system. (And if they mean parasitic worms, an antihelminthic agent will do more to remove these than foot pads.)
• Mucus: If you have mucus on your feet, you need a shower, not a foot pad.
• Chemicals: Same.
• Cellulite: Come on.

There’s an As Seen On TV version called Kinoki, which claims to do generally the same as these, plus “relax muscles and tendons.” Hilariously, they cut them into smaller pieces to put on your eyes, too.