7 May, 2016
America Is Already Great
This hat is symbolic of every pallid, limp response the Democrats have to the Republican Party. Instead of changing policy to benefit actual people, they make a Democrat hat to refute the Republican hat, equally false, and equally trivial. The Republicans are fucking us with brooms, and the Democrats brag that they’ve worked hard to reduce broom-fucking by ten percent over the past seven years. We eat hamburgers, or don’t eat hamburgers, for freedom, or to protest freedom. We are all helpless and want and need divine intervention but are only able to conjure men who declare themselves God because their father was rich. Every meaningful social movement is kneecapped by the hyper-wealthy, who laugh as our income declines in real terms, as it has for the past fifteen years.
Pick a side. Buy your hat. Argue with your neighbor over how often you want to be broom-fucked. America is exactly as great as you think it is, and will be.