Monthly Archives: February 2017

Cheesus

cheesus-christ

File this one under “they thought of the name before they made the product.” Same with Holy Toast. And Grilled Cheezus, for that matter.



Bed iPad

bed-ipad

This might be wonderful if you were stuck in the hospital, or bed-bound from your injuries, or otherwise horizontally disabled. Too bad it broke this guy’s iPad.



Headache Glasses

headache-glasses

These non-prescription glasses have diffraction grating built in, which causes light to separate into its color components when you wear them. Which might be all right for about 60 seconds, if you’re insanely high, but will likely just give you a headache. The manufacturer provides the least-helpful product video I’ve ever seen, if you feel like you need to add zero information to your pounding diffraction headache.

Still, they are infinitely better than these.

Desk Whiteboard

desk-whiteboard-dry-erase

This is a layer of film you stick to your desk that “turns it into a dry erase board.” Which would be great, except it’s horizontal, on your desk, so you can’t use it to show things to a group. And you can’t use your desk, because if you put anything on the desk, or put your arms on the desk, you’ll erase what’s on there. And you could use a pad of paper and a pen to get more information written down with less effort, if you’re sitting at your desk. And it costs a bit much for a single piece of plastic that’s sticky on the back. But I guess these are all small prices to pay for “productivity.”



Star Wars Immersion Blender

darth-vader-immersion-blender

Star Wars kitchen merchandise is always a stretch. I’ve written about the Star Wars waffle maker that makes a pancake instead of a waffle, and the Star Wars toaster that leaves most of the bread untoasted but for a small, scorched Star Wars logo in the middle of each slice. But the Star Wars Immersion Blender takes it even further, and is simply a regular immersion blender with a red dingle instead of a silver one. If they didn’t show you pictures of Darth Vader swishing it around, you wouldn’t know it from an identical-but-cheaper 300-watt immersion blender.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.