4,320 Shitty Meals: The Bucket System


The bucket-fort you see here is the Legacy Premium Food Storage system, which you can eat while you’re locked in the basement of your home, prolonging your post-apocalypse life for as long as you can make 4,320 meals last. Assuming you have water, and the air isn’t poisoned, and you don’t get hurt, or get an infection. And, then, assuming the apocalypse is still raging onward when your food runs out, it’s into the wasteland to scavenge what you can find, be it flora, fauna, or your neighbor’s freeze-dried food supply.

Thankfully, no one buys stuff like this, because fear doesn’t sell products, especially not fear of apocalypse and death. We’re rational beings, and allay our brains’ chemical response to threats by careful and considered thought. Free will is real, and homo sapiens has thankfully transcended the stimulus-response paradigm of life to become post-animal models of logic and reason. If that weren’t true, then we would be doomed to repeat our obvious mistakes, both personally, and in society at large.

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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.