Malachite Healing Pyramid


For the price of just a few months’ worth of health insurance, you can own this enormous malachite pyramid. (Check out the picture of a lady holding it, for size.) It may not do anything, but, as the manufacturer explains, “Please do not expect something that looks like it was made in a factory.” Yeah! Fuck the factory pyramids!

If you need something less pointy to heal, you should go with this 46-pound crystal ball, described as a “high altitude orb gem” that contains “green phantoms.”

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