You couldn’t have thought of a SLIGHTLY better name for a medically-useful CPR training dummy than Fat Old Fred? No? Okay.

(Fat Old Fred is from the creators of the Infant Circumcision Trainer, which is exactly what you think it is.)

This pixellated credit-card lightbulb seems to be an attempt to combine three unrelated things. (Here’s what it looks like in operation.) 

1. Phone

2. Phone

3. Pull bathroom trash can over in front of you and set your laptop on it

4. Phone

One of these items is “Pocket Shot”, a slingshot you carry in your pocket. The other is an inflatable buttplug. Can you guess which is which before you click one and find out?

“You’ll never look at the alphabet the same way again,” says the author of A Is For Anus, apparently unaware that nobody’s ever noticed how the word anus is spelled.

Yeah, this flame shirt is bad, but tell me the “Customers who bought this also bought” isn’t amazing.

You may have already seen this iPhone case that lets you pretend you’re using an old, bulky cell-phone… but this enormous thing (here’s a picture of someone holding it) is an actual cell-phone that connects to a modern cell network and lets you play mp3 files. Why you’d want this is anyone’s guess, but then again, people still buy AM/FM radios.