Monthly Archives: March 2018

Mommee Coffee


Pregnant women are one of the most coveted demographics for capitalists. You will ruin your child’s entire life forever if you don’t buy the right products while pregnant, and there’s no better driver of commerce than fear. Enter Mommee Coffee, the pregnant woman’s coffee. Sure, you could drink regular decaf or half-caf coffee when you’re pregnant, but why risk drinking something cheap and widely available?

At least it probably tastes better than Third Trimester Tea.

Urban Spork


The Lewis N. Clark Urban Gear Spork is a stainless-steel folding spork. The lone review sadly points out that the spoon is too large, the tines of the fork are too rounded to pick up food, and the “knife” is a few serrations carved into the side of the spoon. Perhaps feeling sorry for the urban spork, they then gave it three stars.

The Stainless Steel Tactical Spork, a different product, isn’t much better, but it does come with a picture of the spork attached to the end of an assault rifle.

Eggies: The Egg Boiler


Eggies are plastic canisters which you crack eggs into and then boil, as a way to “hard boil eggs without the shell.” As you can tell from the hundreds of one-star reviews, it doesn’t seem to work very well. Eggies is not the first product to make eggs “easier” (see The Eggstractor, Rollie Eggmaster, Egg Genie, etc.) and it will be far from the last, as humanity continues to convince itself that eggs, one of the cheapest, fastest, and easiest foods to cook, are impossible puzzles.

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