Sea Monkeys have been around since the 1950s, and for most of their existence, they were cheap in their disappointment. You spent three bucks ($9 these days) and got a plastic tank and a packet with dessicated shrimp that “magically” came back to life when you dumped them into water. (The scientific term is cryptobiosis – the eggs enter a state of suspended animation when removed from water and resume their life cycle when rehydrated.)
Not content with this cheap disappointment, the manufacturer has released a $49 projector-tank so you can see a shadow play by your tiny, disgusting crustaceans. Watch them float around in water, eating the tiny pieces of yeast you feed them! Watch them… uh… exist… alive… maybe! Watch the dead ones exist very similarly to the alive ones! Like most of the American dreams from the 1950s, it was a brazen lie, perpetrated by brazen profiteers, yet continues to beguile our society to this day.
“Dick Swap” is a story of two men who switch penises. The author’s description includes the sentence “When one of the penises turns up missing, it leads them on a strange and beautiful quest of self-examination, friendship, and mystery.” You can read the preview for free in the “Look Inside” link, as usual, if you want to see exactly how they swap dicks, or why.
The TowlHub is a 4-port USB charger combined with a paper towel holder. It’s $49.99, which is a small price to pay for keeping thousands of dollars of tablets and phones right next to your kitchen sink.
The Nosefrida is a Swedish device allowing you to suck snot out of your child’s nose, in the same manner you would use to start a siphon from someone’s gas tank. Only it’s snot instead of gasoline, and a baby screams directly into your face the whole time you’re using it. The downside is that it actually works, so you have to use this every time they’re sick, or you’re a bad parent.
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