The Plastic Appendages Of Animals

I’ve blurred this item, the “Trojan Horse Dildo,” because it’s an 18″ dildo in the shape of a horse’s dick. You can see the uncensored picture on the product listing if that’s your thing. The manufacturer describes it as “life-like”, which raises the question: Did they have to A/B test with a real horse to legally make this claim?

“Trojan Horse” has nice historical connotations, but if you’re buying a horse dildo based on how funny the name is, I’d suggest “Mr. Ed.” There’s also a dog dildo, called “Clifford The Big Red Dog Dong,” which steps it up a notch. But none of these hold a candle to the best animal dildo name of all. I present to you: “Moby’s Dick: Anatomically Correct Whale Dildo.”