Amazed by the rudimentary joke they made, the creators of “Not See Kola” branded their sugar-water with a Nazi-esque label and blackletter typeface. “NOT SEE, do you get it?” I’m guessing they say at least a dozen times a day.

I’m sighing so hard I’m about to pass out from lack of oxygen, but… Not See Kola is from the makers of Leninade.

Hanging an LED sign for your car that flashes a big red middle-finger graphic to the person behind you at the touch of a button is a great way to become the target of someone’s road rage.

If you’re one of the six people on earth who want someone to mess with your pregnant body, painting it and taking pictures of it, then this is still not the thing for you. It’s eight little jars of face paint plus a sponge, for twenty dollars. It is, unsurprisingly, by the makers of “Pregnancy Belly Cast Kit,” a way to turn your motherhood into a bizarre plaster death-mask. (Look at the customer pictures, if you dare.)

This treadmill might work underwater, but…

You’re not underwater.

Treadmill lady, you’re not underwater.

TREADMILL LADY WHAT ARE YOU DOING

How does a dinosaur get a billion dollars? How does an animal choose a human’s sexual preference? And since when did dinosaurs and primates co-exist? You can answer these questions by reading the 15-page masterpiece “A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay.”

It’s by the author of the Transformer-creampie story “Transforming Robot Punished Me.”

You might think this glass is a good idea. Until you go to use it, and you’re forced to choose between liquor dripping off your hand as you drink beer, or beer dripping down your arm as you try to drink liquor out of a wet, upside-down pint glass.

The “SpreadTHAT! Butter Knife” is an almost-$20 butter knife that “uses your body heat to warm the knife edge.” Never mind that a regular butter knife, also made out of metal, does this same thing. And never mind that, according to reviews, it only really works if you heat it under hot water from the tap.