I am the hashtag. I am the hashtag.

What kind of toilet-artist would make a toilet seat shaped like a guitar, but then not have the hole in the seat be the guitar’s hole? Careless execution of a bad idea.

Which didn’t stop it from being so popular it sold out.

“Can this make toast with regular sized bread? Can it toast bagels?” a customer asked, and the reply came: No. Taco Toaster is “not for anything else but regular sized tortillas.”

Is it faster than Quick Taco? Psh… no… nothing is faster than Quick Taco.

I haven’t eaten edible glitter, because I’ve already sacrificed enough of my health and longevity in the pursuit of sitting in front of a computer fourteen hours a day. But if it’s non-toxic, and indigestible, if you eat glitter, it stands to bear that your next-day trip to the toilet will be covered in turquoise sparkles.

This remote control allows you to “Control A Woman.”

“I want a low-quality pair of scissors,” you’ll find yourself thinking one day, “but I don’t want to be able to cut paper or open packages with them.” That’s where Herb Scissors come into your life. Finally, you can cut up herbs, and nothing else, and they don’t even work very well for herbs!

Herb Scissors sounds like the name of a shop teacher, by the way.

“Cannabis” is the worst possible name you could use for an energy drink. It would be great for a drink that makes you terrified of Netflix while you watch it for 6 hours.