The seller perfectly describes this item, which is a thousand metal tabs pulled off of soda cans, as “Great for Arts an Crafts [sic]“.

It has 14 “verified purchase” reviews, which means the seller had to go through at least 14,000 cans of soda over the past year.

This cookie cutter is a “pot o’gold rainbow”. Bizarrely, it looks a lot more like a penis than the “MasterBaker” humping-cookies cookie cutter looks like anything recognizable at all.

Live your 1980s-based dreams with the “Octagon Aqua Coffee Table,” which is actually a hexagon. But those two missing sides mean very little considering your dream’s coming true! Neon lights! Lamborghini Diablos! Ronald Reagan in charge of the country! This table truly is, as the manufacturer says, “Art In Motion.”

A perfect match for the Driving Barista, the AutoExec RoadMaster Car Desk allows you to file paperwork and use your laptop while you blaze down one road or another, oblivious to your surroundings.

You wouldn’t think that a discredited pseudo-scientific treatise from the 1700s would still be in print, but:

1. Here it is

2. Thousands of people online today abide by a doctrine they call “no fap,” claiming that abstinence from masturbation cures their social and physical illnesses.

There’s also “Images You Should Not Masturbate To,” though that’s a more recent book, whose cover appears to show a naked Ron Paul chopping through a frozen lake with an axe.

What is the Apex Bioenergetic Homeopathic Imprinter? Obviously, to you and me, it’s a medical scam being sold for over $500 to gullible people in search of a cure for their ailment. But the manufacturer says it “captures the body’s bioresonance” and causes a “healing response.” Which are definitely real things.

I strongly urge you to read the long, insane description they’ve provided themselves, since I don’t have the space for it here.

I’ve been wanting to make a Worst Things For Sale video series for years. We’re 75% of the way to funding this, and I’d love to get it going in 2020. Would you chip in a few bucks to help make it happen?