You’ve got to hand it to the makers of Fat Man In A Barrel, a humongous flesh-plug I’ve pixellated for obvious reasons. (You can see it on the manufacturer’s listing, if you’ve got a need to do that.) Not just for making something so huge it’s unlikely many people would ever be able to use it, but for coming up with an innocuous name so un-dildo-like that still describes their product perfectly.

Notable for the exact opposite reason is Kaylen’s Hand Butt Plug, which is shaped, apparently, exactly like Kaylen’s hand. Whoever that may be. Hope you’re getting royalties from that hand-modeling job, Kaylen.

Have you been wanting to join the ranks of those who fill their ass with coffee, but unwilling to collect all the ass-coffee supplies you need? Let the PureLife Coffee Enema Kit be your portal to this exciting world. It comes with a bag of PureLife Enema Coffee, which, believe it or not, is the second brand of coffee specially blended for enemas that I’ve reviewed here.

The Datalocker is a 1TB hard drive that costs over $400. A regular 1TB hard drive is around sixty bucks, and you can encrypt it in software for free… but, hey, if having a telephone keypad on your hard drive makes you feel like a hacker, go for it.

Sure, Amy’s Organic Chili is not the most delicious or even a very healthy thing to eat. But that’s not why it’s here.

It’s here because a fan made an unsolicited video commercial for it and posted it in the review section.

This book, which I’m going to abbreviate IDCIMBFMIASSHAITASWH, either hits your hot spot or it doesn’t. Let’s just hope that the winds of chance don’t blow this to the top of the rubble-heap when our society inevitably collapses, so that humans a thousand years from now think we were all into this.

By the author of A Gronking To Remember 2: Chad Goes Deep In The Neutral Zone.

There’s nothing wrong with coloring books for adults, as a thing that adults can do. But if you’re an adult, and you want to color, your choices are a handful of porny titles like The Fetish Coloring Book or Play With My Boobs: A Titstacular Activity Book, or  “Boring Houses: A Sedate Coloring Book Of Buildings.” (Okay, the real title is Historic Houses Of New England, but still.)

You’d think that with how much colored pencils cost, there’d be a mini-industry of good ways to use up your colored pencils so you’d have to buy new ones, but nope, it’s either Story Of The American Revolution Coloring Book or Kinksters With Crayons.

A beer bottle is a disposable (and recyclable) object, so it makes sense that you’d want to bolt a tiny beer-stein lid to it. After all, it takes so long to consume a single bottle of beer that it’s weird nobody’s invented a cover for it. Who knows when a meteor could fly through the earth’s atmosphere, sending tiny shards of space-mineral into the narrow opening of your Piney Dan’s Hop-Roasted IPA Smoked Fucker Stout?