The Toaster That Toasts You

At last, humanity has created the pinnacle of scientific achievement. No, not curing disease, achieving immortality, or even allowing all seven billion of us to live in peace with one another. It’s The Selfie Toaster, which burns a picture of your own face into bread. Like this:

(That’s me.) For the self-obsessed who don’t have the cash to drop on the relatively-expensive Selfie Toaster, there’s The Selfie Brush, a hairbrush which holds your phone.