Even if you’re into eating chocolate dirt buttons, the reviews note that the asscandy, which ships from overseas, arrives melted. Edible Anus also gets a boo from me for censoring the word ANUS, the least profane word or phrase out of thousands that could be used to describe the butthole.

I can’t think of a worse outcome than presenting this ring box to someone with trembling hands, telling them to open it, and then a butt comes out and it makes a fart noise.

There are a few good ways to get secure passwords for your accounts, and while A Book Of Random Passwords fulfills the “capital and lowercase, number and symbol” architecture everyone asks for, it’s also a small, finite set of possibilities for attackers who might want to brute-force your password.