Drunk On Christmas

It’s the time of year we all love, and it has nothing to do with family, friends, traditions, or even presents. As winter’s chill begins to set in, each of us hang Santa’s Flask from the mantle and drink wine out of a two-liter plastic bag. The drinkier among us came equipped with the Santa Hat Flask, and have already been “sneakily” drinking from the giant plastic nozzle sticking out of the side.

Santa’s not for everyone, though. For those who worship the stars and stripes above the idolatry of Old Saint Nick, there is another option.