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Author Archives: drew

Birthing Simulator

birthing-simulator

Don’t get me wrong. It’s important that medical professionals be able to study and practice all of the procedures of childbirth before they have to perform them for real. It’s just that you and I both know what people are going to use this thing for.



Ear No Evil: The Political Piece Of Plastic

bullshit-protector-ear-no-evil

“Ear No Evil” is two pieces of plastic you wear over your ears, if you’re an asshole. It costs $7.99 and is available in both Trump and Clinton versions. God forbid you talk to someone who isn’t voting for the same person.











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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.