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Author Archives: drew

Craft Beer, Craft Bikes

bike-beer-holster

Do you need a way to combine your hobby of riding an expensive bike with drinking expensive beer? Now you can do it in a more meaningful way than loading your gut up with Crazy John’s Double Dick India Pale Ale and cruising through a gentrified neighborhood on your fixie. The absurdly expensive Fyxation Bicycle Carrier lets you carry six bottles of beer on your bike, for whatever reason it occurs to you to do that.

(The same company makes a leather bike-holster for a bottle of wine, if you’re low-carbing.)

Obama: The Halloweening

barely-obama-mask

Since I can still get Nixon masks down at the seasonal Halloween store, it’s likely these Obama masks will be around for decades to come, perhaps even when Cyber-Jayden announces in his 2034 State Of The Union speech, “America, you have all of my feels. I can’t even.” So it’s not exactly timely for costume manufacturers to be releasing the “Barely-’Bama” (above), the no-eyes Creepy Obama, or the giant, flat “Your eyes look through his nose Obama” mask, but they know their market will be buying these for a long time.

If you’re going for lack-of-realism, the Obama Party Face is the winner, though it’s the Obama-combos which take the cake. The “Barakula Mask” depicts our head of state as a pointy-eared vampire, which is at least half of an effort, but my favorite (i.e. worst) is the Obama Pumpkin Head Mask, which combines the President’s face with a pumpkin, for no apparent reason.



Recipes in jars

recipes-in-jars

You may never have run across one of these, but the premise of a “recipe in a jar” is that someone sifts together dry ingredients for a recipe and gives it to you as a “gift.” Your duty, as the recipient, is to add milk, eggs, butter, and other perishable ingredients, and then cook it, and then clean up after yourself, and then, purportedly, eat the recipe of unknown origin. Adding to the mystery of this book in particular is the fact that it has a ton of 5-star reviews that just say “Love it!” and are not suspicious at all.

I will gladly eat almost anyone’s home cooking, but I will never, ever cook someone’s weird recipe they found somewhere and put in a fucking jar.



Sexy Costumes For The Women Of 2014

monsters-inc-sulley-women monsters-inc-sulley-men

In this year’s rundown of sexy women’s Halloween costumes, I’ve posted the women’s costume on the left, and the men’s costume (i.e. how the character actually looks) on the right. Just in case you thought the main character from Monsters Inc. had exposed, tanned thighs showing between his short skirt and leg-warmers.

sonic-the-hedgehog-costume-women sonic-the-hedgehog-costume-men

“Gotta go… fast,” Sonic The Woman Hedgehog sighed, slipping on her ankle-warmers and three-inch heels.

duff-beer-costume-women duff-beer-costume-men

I could show you sexy women’s versions of what men are doing all day.

thing-2-women thing-2-men

Just like society.







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