Author Archives: drew

Eat Glitter, Shit Sparkles


I haven’t eaten edible glitter, because I’ve already sacrificed enough of my health and longevity in the pursuit of sitting in front of a computer fourteen hours a day. But if it’s non-toxic, and indigestible, if you eat glitter, it stands to bear that your next-day trip to the toilet will be covered in turquoise sparkles.

Shadow, The Skeleton Dog


Hide Shadow, The Skeleton Dog in a snowbank in your yard. As the snow melts in spring, his human skull, old-man hair, and humandog skeleton will be revealed to your neighbors! You’ll all share a laugh and it’ll bring you closer together. They definitely will not call the police.

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