Licki is a cat brush you hold with your mouth, to simulate licking your cat with an enormous, spiked tongue. There’s a video of a guy using it on his cat in the listing if you’re not sure how this works, or you want to experience the horror by seeing it for yourself.

You will, of course, also need this for the mounds of cat hair you collect.

The picture is not-safe-for-work, but the main reason I’m including this item here is because of its actual name. Go on, see what they called the damn thing.

It wasn’t any good when it was the George Bush Out Of Office Countdown, or the Obama’s Last Day 1-29-2013 countdown clock, or the Obama’s Last Day 1-20-2017 countdown clock, either. Boy, this fire sure beats that frying pan we were in.

When people tell you something like this, you should nearly always believe them. Especially if they’re wearing one of these.

Remember rotary-dial telephones? Now you can have one, but as a lamp. The same company offers a lamp made out of a toy safe, which is even less functional. Check out the picture and see if you can identify the critical design flaw.

The Echo Dot, like its predecessor, the Amazon Echo, uses voice recognition in a continuing bid to convince people that clicking a couple buttons on their phone or computer is “too hard” to bother with. (The reason goes, I’m sure, that people spend more when they don’t have to see the numbers or payment details in front of them.) But voice recognition, good as it is these days, still leads to problems like this:

(I found this video uncredited – if you know who created it, please let me know.)

Before you get all pissed off, Castlevania music is great, as video games go. It’s just that pressing it to vinyl seems bizarre, considering that it was digitally generated out of an old Nintendo in the first place. The same goes for the Mother 2 soundtrack on vinyl. Again, good for a game, functionally unimproved by putting on vinyl.

There are a few soundtracks for Katamari Damacy (and its sequels) which are seemingly rare, given that it’s relatively recent and made of actual music. And, sadly, the soundtrack from Toe Jam & Earl: Panic On Funkotron is apparently impossible to find for under $300. It’s great that the composers from these games are still being appreciated, but I can’t think of anything more obviously suited to selling in MP3 format.