14 July, 2014
Face Slimming Rubber Mask
I was wondering if this rubber face-slimming mask really worked, so I thought I’d give it a try.
Yes? No?
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14 July, 2014
I was wondering if this rubber face-slimming mask really worked, so I thought I’d give it a try.
Yes? No?
13 July, 2014
The HD Spy Pen is a $10 pen-camera, which records hours of HD video to SD card and has a mini-USB port to transfer video onto your computer. It is the #1 best-seller in the “Hidden Camera” category. Also, you are now aware that there is a “Hidden Camera” category of items for sale, and that lots of people buy them, and that you’ve probably already been recorded on someone’s hidden camera, even if they weren’t a Google Glasshole.
12 July, 2014
The pregnant mother gazes lovingly at her bulging midsection. “Feel the boom,” she cackles, and cranks the Nuvo Ritmo Pregnancy Sound System to maximum volume.
The ad copy promises to let “future mom and dads… record their own voices for the baby to hear” but who are we kidding? Your fetus is already behind the times, musically, and if he or she doesn’t experience the hard-sync blasts of Darude’s “Sandstorm” before being born, they’re going to grow up listening to ragtime or something.
11 July, 2014
The vaguely named “Vomit Mix Capsules” are $16.95, and described by the manufacturer as containing “a proprietary mix of herbs.” No details on what the herbs are, and no picture of the product except for a tiny picture of a woman barfing. The same manufacturer sells “Asthma Mix,” which has a single, one-star review claiming his Asthma Mix Capsules were expired by the time they arrived. Hey, you want a proprietary mix of herbs, you gotta accept that they might be expired.
10 July, 2014
I know I wrote about this toilet before (with more animated GIFs) but the ads for the American Standard 2889.216.020 keep getting better and better. If you ever plan to crap out two White Castles without digesting them, you’d better do it into one of these toilets. Ignore the guy who gave it a one-star review because he still has to use a toilet brush to clean it when it gets dirty.
Also,
9 July, 2014
The Paperback is a sticky pad the size of your iPhone, which sticks to the back of your iPhone, so you can take notes on it. It costs $8.95 for 80 sheets, which makes it both more expensive than a regular Post-It note pad, and less capable than the Notes app that is on your iPhone right now.
8 July, 2014
“Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine” is, improbably, the SECOND book the author has written about Wil Wheaton. The first, “Wil Wheaton: Teenage Sex Machine” was pulled before I was able to publish this, presumably because it was about a specific living person who didn’t give them permission to write about his sex life.
Both of them pale in comparison to the author’s previous work, “Sherlock Holmes: A Strange Case Of Dicklessness,” which you can read in the “Look Inside” link here, and is exactly what it sounds like.