The Worst Things For Sale

It’s hard to argue with that. Real men also love cats & hockey, together. And biblical exegesis. And REAL MEN LOVES PIGEON.

I’ve covered umbrella hats before, but this one allows you to stick your head inside a crinkly bag, and pull the umbrella portion down around your shoulders, for some reason. It’s only very slightly more subtle than the classic rainbow umbrella hat.

The Shield Antenna is a self-adhesive sticker for the back of your phone that claims to simultaneously boost your signal and reduce the amount of radiation your phone emits, which are opposites. (Even imagining that a sticker would block a cell-phone signal, it’s on the back of the phone, which is not the side you point at your head when you look at it or talk on it.)

Control your dog’s bone with your phone.

Customers say: Won’t charge. Won’t connect. Dog won’t play with it. Dog destroyed it.

For a few years, we’ve been told that sitting while we do computer work is horrible for our health. We’ve been pushed to buy standing desks, or risers so that we can stand at a regular desk, with no attention being paid until very recently that working while standing is significantly worse than sitting, likely as a result of discomfort and distraction, and may even be worse for your body as well. As you might imagine, the trend towards standing desks is largely due to the manufacturers of standing desks and standing-desk accessories selling them as being healthier than the regular desk you already own and don’t have to buy from them.

Ignoring this, manufacturers are now suggesting that we stand on an unsteady platform as we work standing up at our desks. This one’s more expensive than you’d think, but, really, can you put a price on being distracted, uncomfortable, and less productive?

It’s not that a pound of camel fat isn’t edible, but it’s probably not worth buying at a premium, marked with the meaningless label “Superfood,” unless giggling at the word “hump” is worth it to you.

These gloves hold a ten-ounce flask in each hand, for a total of twenty ounces of liquor.

“It’s not for liquor!” you tap out on your keyboard, your urge to be contrarian overwhelming your ability to type anything else. Nope, the manufacturer shows it with a bottle of Fireball.