The Worst Things For Sale

This bag of colored gelatin seems fine, until you get to the picture in the gallery where a skinless man screams inside his jello bathtub. And the man wrestling a baby.

Suspiciously written by an author called “An Experienced Physician,” this book promises good health to all those who drink their own urine. If you prefer a urine book with an author who has a name, Your Own Perfect Medicine by Martha M. Christy claims more or less the same thing, plus a review from a lady who pissed on her husband’s “spastic toe,” claiming it worked wonders.

The medically-accepted treatment for a normal headache is ibuprofen, which costs about thirty cents. This homeopathic “headache relief” treatment costs several orders of magnitude more, and it’s made of water, so it won’t do anything.

The inventors of Bumper Dumper weren’t filling a consumer need by creating their product. They were following in the footsteps of The Basslet, Smencils, Carbage Can,   and Petchup by coming up with a name for Bumper Dumper, and then, for some reason, going ahead with the idea of letting people shit into a trailer hitch.

Drink plus clip equals DrinKlip. It’s a great way to attach your drink to a plastic clip, which may fall off or break, instead of setting it on the table.

Can you order a nearly-nine-thousand-dollar dinghy online? Yes.

Does it ship to you for free? Also yes.

It’s not just an expression. You can actually buy an absurdly-expensive silver spoon to feed your infant with.