iPad stand, iPad keyboard


I’ve never understood ipad stands and ipad keyboards. If you want a crummy computer that doesn’t do much, you can get one for $250. It’s called a “laptop.”

Helpfully, the manufacturer of this “keyboard case cover” notes that the back-light on the keys can be set to seven different colors. Because that’ll let you run actual programs on your iPad instead of games that force you to pay ninety-nine cents every time you want an extra turn, right?

(I should note that I have an iPad, but that I don’t try to do anything productive on it, unless you consider losing at Scrabble and cussing at an iPad to be productive.)

Animal Crossing


You can’t fool me, Animal Crossing. I bought the original and played it, and it was fun, and then boring, so I turned it off. Then I bought the Nintendo DS version and I was like “Wait, this is the exact same game.” Then I bought the Wii version and it was also exactly the same. Maybe the animals talked more. I don’t remember. All I know is that if I want to pick fruit for hours and go in debt to buy a house I can do that in real life.

The new one supposedly has new features, which I’m guessing amount to “there’s more fruit to pick” and “if you pick fruit for 50 hours in a row you can get a new couch.”

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me…. four times… We won’t be fooled again.

The Dipr: A Cookie Tool


If you eat so many cookies-soaked-in-milk that you need a special utensil to lower them into your glass, I would suggest that the utensil isn’t solving your real problem. It’s solving the problem you think you have, while you slowly murder your body with cookies.

Death comes for everyone, it’s just a matter of whether or not you want that particular line on the coroner’s report to read “cookies.”

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