Finger Spoons


Call me crazy, but wouldn’t it be harder to try to keep a plastic spoon stuck on the end of your finger, and eat with a fingertip-spoon, than to use a regular plastic spoon? And aren’t plastic spoons cheaper than $16.89 for a four-pack?

Grand Theft Auto Map


This seller has a poster-sized GTA V map, and is preying off the poor people who haven’t yet figured out that the game shows you the map when you hit pause. Just pause the game! You can put a GPS on there too, guys! Also, you can’t walk up a hill without stumbling backwards and then sliding down the hill on your face! Sorry, spoiler alert, I know. 

Morgellons Clearing


This album, entitled “Morgellons Clearing,” bearing a cover art (above) of a sky full of chemtrails, is purportedly an album which will remove your Morgellons, should you listen to the whole thing. Each track is fifteen solid minutes of a single tone. If you can make it past five seconds the first one (warning, it’s loud) I don’t blame the Morgellons for leaving your body. (The entire “album” is over two and a half hours long.)

Lest you think that Morgellons Clearing is Jayme Hunt’s only masterpiece, Sinusitis Sinus Pain is 57 minutes of hell, a piercing tone somewhere above 10,000 Hz which set off my very real tinnitus after a few seconds of playing through my computer speakers. Thankfully, Restless Leg Syndrome Relief is pitched lower, and somewhat forgiving, at only twenty minutes long.

And if you’re worried about those chemtrails up there in the picture, J-Hunt has just the salve for your chemtrail-induced fatigue. A hundred and five minutes of “Chemtrails Clearing”, tracks one through seven.

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