32,000-piece Keith Haring puzzle


This 32,256-piece puzzle is even larger than the last big puzzle I reviewed. It’s seventeen feet long, so you’ll need at least a seventeen-foot-long room in your house you’re not using, to assemble it, and then a seventeen-foot-long wall to hang it on. It comes with a hand truck to help you move the box around.

Unfortunately, according to reviews, the pieces don’t fit together very well, which is kind of essential for a jigsaw puzzle.

The Bike That Fucked Me


Did the bike skip out on its shared apartment, leaving the author to pay rent by herself? Did it sell her counterfeit Garbage Pail Kids cards on eBay? Did it fail to appear in court to act as the author’s attorney? No! None of these! “The Bike That Fucked Me” is a 3000-word story about a “dildo bike.”

If you’re into bike fucking but you don’t get into hetero stuff, the same author has written an eerily-similar 3000-word story entitled  “The Bike That Butt Fucked Me.”

The trilogy concludes with a 3000-word story about group sex, called… yes… “The Bikes That Fucked Us.”

Mr. Gold: The $900 Lego Man


“It’s not a LEGO MAN, it’s a minifig,” Lego collectors whine in unison, and they’re technically right. It’s a $900 Lego minifig, which, despite the name, is not made out of gold. It’s made of plastic, like almost every other Lego piece. These were randomly distributed in packages of normal pieces, and resellers are scalping them for high prices.

My main reason for writing about it here, though, is the reviews obviously left by children. “horrable,” one writes, “bull garbage.the thing is bush legue .” Another review, titled “dumd stupid,” adds: “it is not worth 999 dollers do not buy.”

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