Wedding Ring Casket

wedding-ring-casket

This is a tiny casket that lets you bury your wedding ring after you get divorced.



Plus-Size Leggings

plus-size-leggings

If you’re trying to sell leggings to plus-sized women, you might want to have a regular woman just wear it like a human, instead of stuffing a skinny person into one half of them and holding them out like Jared Fogle. (The average adult woman in the USA wears a size 14, which is very nearly “plus-sized” to begin with, just as a point of reference.)

It’s not just this item, either – they sell this skirt-legging in the same “haha fat” way. All of their items have collected a number of negative reviews, but they still seem to think it’s funny to sell large clothing like this.

Vegan Jerky

vegan-jerky

Jerky is the worst thing you could do to meat. So it stands to bear that the soybean, a legume which could be turned into tofu, miso, soy milk, edamame, soy sauce, or any number of wonderful foods, would be turned into horrible turd in an attempt to “jerky” it. That’s the case with this eight-dollar bag of inedible salty cardboard. 

Fortunately, unlike some of the customers, I was able to eat it, and it didn’t come as a single overgrown lump of mold (check the customer pics in the reviews if you want to see what this would look like.)

What Do High School Girls Smell Like?

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“For masturbation,” says the manufacturer, and given the box art and name “Sexual Lubricant With High School Girl’s Smell,” you wouldn’t think differently. If we’re picking Japanese masturbation aids by name alone, though, I’d go for Ride Horny Addicted Breeze.

(The image has been blurred in case you’re at work. I’m sure you get the idea and don’t need to see the unblurred art, but the same goes for the not-safe-for-work “Saliva Lotion Of High School Girls.”)








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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.