Amazon Fire TV


The new Amazon FireTV just came out yesterday. As is the norm with new gadgets, there are already over 40 one-star reviews, complaining about one thing or another. A surprising (okay, not surprising) number of them try to include Obama in their complaints about the $99 box that lets you talk into the remote control and watch infinite TV. One of them said Amazon is destroying the environment by not powering their servers with windmills. And someone else gave it a one-star review because “I have no idea what the hell this does.” You’d think these are the people who’d want to talk to the TV.

Moon Shoes



I remember trying these fuckers when I was a kid, and being disappointed that I couldn’t jump several feet in the air like kids in the advertisement seemed to do. I thought it was because I was fat, but it turns out it’s because they are shitty, and they don’t work for anyone. Vindication! I’m right behind you, “A Kid’s Review” from April 30, 2005, where you stated “NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER BUY THESE SHOES!!! I HATE THEM!!”

Bigfoot Made Me Gay


In “Monsters Made Me Gay: Bigfoot Gangbang,” the author weaves a tale of what happens when you find the mythical Bigfoot. Fundamentalists will love it too, because one of the listed features of this 4,600-word story is “turning straight to gay.” Finally, some corroboration of their weird fixation that straight people can be convinced to switch teams.

No word on whether or not the Bigfeet in the story were real or just dudes in realistic, sexy Bigfoot costumes. Maybe if you’ve got the time or the Bigfoot-boner to read the whole thing, you can report back with details.  

TWTFS is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to We are not affiliated with the manufacturers whose products appear on TWTFS.