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Gun Egg

fried-gun-egg-for-real-men

What is the most American egg, you might ask? Obviously, it’s a fried gun egg. Because the only thing that can stop a bad guy with an egg is a patriotic American hero, also with an egg, and the hero will get his egg out first, and save the day.



“Pi Day” for kids

ultimate-pi-day-kids-shirt

This children’s shirt shows tomorrow’s date, 3/14/15, with the phrase “It only happens once in a lifetime.” To a child, the idea of irrational numbers is new and interesting, so the nerd part’s not the problem. (Obviously, if you’re an adult, and you consider yourself special for knowing a basic fact about a circle, you’re maybe not as sharp as you think you are.)

The issue here is an adult buying a shirt for a child that reminds them they won’t live a hundred more years. Unlike pi, life does not go on forever. Unlike pi, you will not be here in 2115. Here’s a shirt, and by the way, did you know you’re going to die in 99 or fewer years? 



Sudoku toilet paper

sudoku-toilet-paper

Either the paper would be too soft to write on, or you’d have to wipe your ass with the world’s worst toilet paper. There is no winner in the game of Sudoku Toilet Paper.









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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.