Cats Love Jazz

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“Cats Love Jazz” is both the presupposition and title of this album, which seems to be a computer-generated mash of MIDI instrumentals, all of which clock in almost exactly at one minute and seven seconds. It seems to have been created by someone who has never heard jazz, but rather attempted to recreate it from a written description.

If you enjoy or “enjoy” this album (you can stream it from the link up there) there’s a pond-themed album featuring the bizarre organ-seizure titled “Ducks Have Bad Hands For Jazz”, though to be honest, a few seconds of any of these tracks is more than enough for most.



QR Codes For Your House

 

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QR codes, the little square grids that you can scan with your phone (but nobody ever has) are now available for your house. If you ever wanted to put a QR code on your television remote, and have someone scan it with their phone in order to play a video you’ve made, this product lets you do that. (I’m not intentionally creating a bizarre use-case, by the way. The manufacturer specifically implies that you’d want to do this with your remote control.)



Squirrel Taxidermy

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When you’re shopping for dead squirrels, it’s tempting to go for the classic Old West cowboy squirrel, with his hat and tiny revolver. A mid-level dead-squirrel enthusiast might go for the hunter squirrel, decked out in orange vest and rifle. But the true treasure of dead squirrels is the Canoe Squirrel, rowing down the river of Eternity with his proportionately-sized paddle and craft. Just a passenger on the ship of life, like all of us, except dead, and full of polyester stuffing, with no eyeballs, and glass beads sewn beneath the skin to give the appearance of life.








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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.