Vomit Mix Capsules


The vaguely named “Vomit Mix Capsules” are $16.95, and described by the manufacturer as containing “a proprietary mix of herbs.” No details on what the herbs are, and no picture of the product except for a tiny picture of a woman barfing. The same manufacturer sells “Asthma Mix,” which has a single, one-star review claiming his Asthma Mix Capsules were expired by the time they arrived. Hey, you want a proprietary mix of herbs, you gotta accept that they might be expired.

The American Standard 2889.216.020: Part III

I know I wrote about this toilet before (with more animated GIFs) but the ads for the American Standard 2889.216.020 keep getting better and better. If you ever plan to crap out two White Castles without digesting them, you’d better do it into one of these toilets. Ignore the guy who gave it a one-star review because he still has to use a toilet brush to clean it when it gets dirty.


Sticky Notes For iPhone


The Paperback is a sticky pad the size of your iPhone, which sticks to the back of your iPhone, so you can take notes on it. It costs $8.95 for 80 sheets, which makes it both more expensive than a regular Post-It note pad, and less capable than the Notes app that is on your iPhone right now.

Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine


“Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine” is, improbably, the SECOND book the author has written about Wil Wheaton. The first, “Wil Wheaton: Teenage Sex Machine” was pulled before I was able to publish this, presumably because it was about a specific living person who didn’t give them permission to write about his sex life.

Both of them pale in comparison to the author’s previous work, “Sherlock Holmes: A Strange Case Of Dicklessness,” which you can read in the “Look Inside” link here, and is exactly what it sounds like.

Jimmy, My Spiritual Friend


Jimmy, according to the seller of this $160,000 item, is a spiritual friend who communicates solely through a pendulum, which is supplied when you purchase Jimmy. Why would someone sell their spiritual friend, you ask? Well, according to the only customer review, “Jimmy is a dick.”

Cock Mug


Let your mug release you from the prison of explaining your personality with words! Now, your coworkers will know at a glance: You’re a cock.

Ladies, there’s a similar one for you too, if that’s how you feel about yourself.

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