Colloidal Silver: Turn Yourself Blue, Nutcase


Even though Paul Karason hit the talk show circuits a few years back to show off his blue-gray skin, caused by his chronic intake of colloidal silver, you can still purchase this toxic supplement. There are several kinds available, but this particular brand, Natural Path Silver Wings, is the worst, mainly because they suggest you give it to children. Not only that, but it has over a hundred psychotic reviews. People are claiming that they no longer have to take antibiotics, and that it’s healed second-degree burns, cleared up pinkeye, stopped dandruff, and cured influenza. This guy even claims that colloidal silver healed a bite from a brown recluse spider.

Argyria, the skin condition caused by colloidal silver, doesn’t go away when you stop taking colloidal silver, by the way. It’s caused by silver particles that accumulate in the dermis and sweat glands after you ingest or absorb silver particles through your skin. Since they accumulate in the lower layers of skin, they’re hard to remove.

Convinced that Paul Karason was trying to discredit their mystery cure, colloidal silver proponents celebrated when Karason died last year, at the age of 62.

Punishing The Internet Troll


“Punishing The Internet Troll” is an erotic novel where the author writes out his fantasy of raping someone who didn’t like his writing. (“Dub Con” is a keyword used by erotica authors that stands for “dubious consent”, which is a way to get around e-book policies involving rape fantasies.) If he finds out I made fun of his pro-rape wank fic, maybe his next book will be called “Dub Con The Bald Blog Man.”

(There’s a “look inside” button on this one, if you dare.)

An Autobiography of Jesus


I’m not sure that it counts as an autobiography if it’s written by someone other than the subject, and the excerpts available online were extremely dry and boring, but let me take a stab at it. Like a Roman.

I was getting tired of all these assholes following me around, writing down everything I said. After John The Baptist died (RIP) I was just chillin, and before I knew it, there were 4,000 of these disciples and they’re all “ohhhh we’re so huuuungry.” Like I even wanted any freaking disciples in the first place. After three days I was finally like, fine, and I sent some apostles out to buy up a ton of food all hurricane-style. They came back and I was like “I got bread and fish so stop your scrub-ass moaning.”

Well, a guy in the crowd starts flipping out like “where did Jesus get all this food” and I go, all sarcastically, “magic. I got it from my magic powers.” Next thing I know they’re all writing “magic” on their scrolls and I’m like, no, no, it was a joke, but they kept saying I multiplied the food. I was pretty scorched, but it was nothing compared to what happened later. (No spoilers, but if you’ve seen that cross thing they put in churches, it’s related to that.)

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